Add basmati rice, 1 cup water, and a pinch of salt to a medium saucepan. Bring to a boil, cover, reduce heat to low, and cook until water is absorbed and grains are tender, 14 to 16 minutes. (4-serving meal: use 2 cups water).

Add celery, coleslaw blend, apple cider vinegar, and turbinado sugar to a medium bowl and toss the celery carrot slaw. To a small bowl, add parsley and ranch dressing and stir the herbed ranch dressing.

Heat 1 tbsp vegetable oil in a large nonstick skillet over medium-high heat. Add tofu and cook until lightly browned and crispy, 5 to 7 minutes. Reduce heat to low, add Buffalo sauce and a pinch of salt, and cook until sauce thickens, 2 to 3 minutes. (4-serving meal: use 2 tbsp vegetable oil).

Divide the rice between bowls. Top with spicy Buffalo tofu and celery carrot slaw. Drizzle with herbed ranch dressing. Dig in!